Friday, July 24, 2009

Frustration Boiling over

I don't want to "out" people on my blog, so I am going to call them by there first initial . I am sure people who know me IRL will put the pieces together but I am OK with that.

I don't think I am very hard to get along with . I mean as long as you respect me and my believes I have a very wide variety of friends. But recently a few people who I will call "L" and "A" have me so frustrated.

"A" cant seem to decide if she hates me or loves me.One day she calls, texts, wants to know what she can get for me children . But on the other hand we wont hear from her for more then week . When we do ask for something it seems like as long as it is something she likes she will get it. What happened to see a need fill a need . I may need an excersaucer for Lyla but not a 50.00 outfit .Am I sounding not grateful ? I am grateful so grateful for all she has done and what she will continue to do . I just hate the mixed messages in my life . After moving across the country and back, after moving 3 times since being back I just want some stability .

As for "L" please decide our we friends or not . I don't expect alot but again just some stability and knowing if I am having a bad day , can I count on you ? Will you answer your phone? I also get the feeling you haven't been sharing your true emotions and life situations . Maybe you are feeling like my situation with Riaan is to much for you to handle?

When we were in Virgina I so badly wanted to " come Home ". Sadly I came back to no home , friends who have moved on and found new connections and found a longing to go back to Virgina. It is terrible the whole time in Virgina I couldn't see the good there, it was truly one of those moments that you didn't see what you had tell it was gone .

You want some Raw emotion ?

at 21 I have....

2 beatiful kids I love and adore

1 child who is special and I love him more for that

at 21 I have....

a great man who stands beside me

a great man who doesnt know the power of emotion

a great man who needs some help in his sobriety

a great man who provides financially

a great man but a BETTER father

at 21 I have....

a mom who is slightly crazy

a brother who I love and wish he could love himself as much

a sister who sometimes I wish see's what other's see

an absent father who I dont miss

at 21 I need...

the guidence of knowing everything is ok

the hope to know gods plan is the right plan

the friendship's in my life to bloom

No comments:

Post a Comment